So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
