she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
FUCK WHALES
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
