you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
