Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
