Already got asked if we're dating
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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