Nicole vs. Life
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
