when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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