What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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