apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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