do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
