Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize