did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
