does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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