Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
