just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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