just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
