Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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