Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
