Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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