take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
