You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
