My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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