Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize
