The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
