Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
he was CRYING into my vagina
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
