Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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