Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
