She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
