So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
