he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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