hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Less talking, more tequila
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
