Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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