White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize
