His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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