Don't make out with my wife yet
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
