Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
