If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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