I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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