There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
