is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
