Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
