Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
