Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
