So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Randomize
