sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
