I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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