DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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