You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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