trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Let's get the cat blown out
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
