This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
